Guardianship for a Parent With Dementia: How Families Become the “Bad Guy” — and How to Prevent It
- 2 days ago
- 2 min read
Filing for Guardianship for a Parent With Dementia: What Families Need to Understand
If you are considering filing for guardianship for a loved one with dementia, I need to tell you something important.
Guardianship itself is not usually what destroys the relationship.
The way it is approached often does.
When families begin exploring guardianship for a parent with dementia, they often assume the legal process itself will be the hardest part. In reality, the relational impact is what requires the most care.
Why Guardianship in Dementia Often Feels Like a Crisis
I have seen this pattern over and over again.
A family waits too long.
Things become unsafe.
A crisis happens.
And suddenly, legal action feels abrupt, harsh, even cruel.
The loved one experiences it as betrayal.
The family becomes “the bad guy.”
And once that narrative sets in, it can be very difficult — sometimes impossible — to undo.
How Dementia Changes Perception and Interpretation
Here is what most families do not realize:
Dementia is not just memory loss.
It changes perception.
It changes interpretation.
It changes how meaning is assigned to events.
So when guardianship is introduced without preparation, without education, and without dignity-preserving communication, it can feel like an attack.
Even when it is necessary.
Can Guardianship Be Done Without Damaging the Relationship?
But guardianship does not have to destroy relationships.
There is an approach.
An approach that preserves dignity.
An approach that protects relationships.
An approach that allows your loved one to still feel competent, capable, and in control — even when legal protections are needed.
This is about timing.
It is about communication.
It is about understanding the trajectory of the disease before crisis forces your hand.
A Humane Approach to Guardianship and Conservatorship in Dementia
I have helped hundreds of families navigate difficult transitions.
Not so that they feel good about guardianship.
But so they feel confident that it is the right step — and that they have taken it in the most humane way possible.
Preserving Dignity When Legal Authority Becomes Necessary
Your loved one may lose skills and abilities, but they will never lose their humanity.
Difficult legal decisions can still be made in a way that honors that humanity.
Facing Guardianship or Conservatorship for a Loved One With Dementia?
If you are facing decisions about guardianship, conservatorship, or legal authority in the setting of dementia, I teach families the what, when, and why — so they can master the how.
Visit BetterDementia.com to learn more.
Amy Shaw, PA-C is a nationally recognized dementia care clinician, educator, and author of The Arc of Conversation: A How-to Guide for Goals of Care Conversations. She is the founder of Better Dementia™, where she helps families understand the what, when, and why of dementia so they can master the how of caregiving with confidence and clarity.
